How to Approach Picky Eating
Is your household plagued with picky eaters? Picky eating is not limited to childhood, perhaps you or a partner also falls into a pattern of limited food acceptability, but it does tend to start in those early years of life. If this is something you struggle with in your home, there is hope!
picky eating is part of normal development
First, let us start by outlining that some level of picky eating is normal during different developmental stages of childhood. Neophobia, the fear of new things – including foods, is normal between the ages of 2 and 5. If your kid used to be a willing food trier, but now wants to stick to only familiar things, it does not necessarily spell a lifetime of limited foods. Neophobia tends to be low in infancy, high in early childhood and dissipates with age.
If you used to brag that your kid would eat anything – brussels sprouts! salmon! olives! – but they are now rejecting those same foods, this is also normal. It is not unusual for 2-4-year-olds to suddenly refuse foods. They are trying to assert some independence; is the answer to every question suddenly “no”? Two- or three-year-olds don’t have much control over things that happen in their lives, but food is one place they can try to push some boundaries. This phase tends to coincide with food jags. Again, food jags, or the desire to want to eat the same thing over and over and over again, is a normal part of development and an example of attempts to assert that newfound independence. Serve the foods they want sometimes (especially if they are nutritious and not too difficult to make) but continue to serve other balanced foods too. The less focus you give food jags but continuing business, or dinner, as usual the shorter they tend to last.
Another normal part of development happens around the age of two – growth slows. For most of us we start life listening to (and obeying) our internal hunger and fullness cues. Which means when growth, and the need for additional nutrients and calories to support that growth slows, so does the appetite. It is completely normal for appetite to change from meal to meal or day to day.
Genetics
Genetics can also be a factor in picky eating. Humans have an innate preference for sweet, umami and salty foods as these flavors tend to indicate nutrients we need to grow and thrive. Processed foods like cheesy crackers take full advantage of this – they are engineered to hit all the flavor buttons that keep us wanting more (usually at the expense of other, more nutrient dense foods). Another example is cilantro – some people love it and others think it tastes like soap due to genetic variability.
There are variations in the perception of taste, for example supertasters. Those who fall in the category of supertasters experience bitter flavors more intensely than those who are not supertasters. Vegetables can be especially challenging for supertasters because they tend to have a lot of bitter compounds. Try serving veggies roasted which brings out more sweetness, tossed with some dried fruit, or even drizzled with a touch of maple syrup to help make veggies more palatable to super tasting little tongues. There are also indications that some taste preference is developed in utero or during breastfeeding as the baby is exposed to flavors from the mother’s diet which is the ultimate of modeling what you want your child to eat!
When to seek help
I know, I know, just because you understand something is “normal” is doesn’t necessarily make it easier to deal with, especially when that thing is eating and it happens 4-6 times a day. And it is true, there are times that picky eating can indicate a bigger issue that needs to be addressed. If your child has a very limited number of foods they are willing to eat (like less than 15 and/or not a single type of fruit or vegetable), if they gag or vomit when eating, if there are developmental or growth concerns, or if there are indications of issues with digestion like frequent constipation or diarrhea, it is important to reach out for help and assessment.
Division of Responsibilities
As a parent it is your job to decide what to serve and when and where to serve it. It is the child’s job to decide how much and whether or not to eat it.
For the average picky eater, here are few things to try to expand food acceptability:
Maintain regular meal and snack times. Children respond well to routines and this can prevent low appetite at mealtimes from snacking too close to mealtime or too frequently. Hunger tends to make food more appealing.
Stick to water between meals. Save things like milk or juice as a part of a meal or snack.
Lead by example. If there are foods you want your kid to eat, make sure you model eating and enjoying those same foods, ideally during regular family meals. Little eyes are always watching!
Remember you choose the food; kids choose to eat.
Speaking of parents provide, child decides; be considerate. You don’t want to fall into a role of caterer or short-order cook so make sure that you include familiar foods along with new foods at a meal. Stick to one new food at a time.
It can take 15 or more exposures to a food before it is accepted. Try serving it in different ways too – roasted, sautéed, raw (for things like veggies and fruit), shredded, cubed, etc. Flavors and textures of food change depending on how they are prepared. Just keep serving it! You can also introduce foods during non-mealtimes to take some of the pressure off from eating it. Talk about foods you see while prepping, grocery shopping, in a garden, on the counter. Let kids touch and play with food to get more familiar with it.
If you are putting food on a plate for your child, start small. A single piece of broccoli is much more approachable than a pile. Too much of something new can feel overwhelming.
Make it fun (but don’t make yourself crazy). A fun plate or eating utensil can help. So can using cute cookie cutters or arranging the food in a fun way to make it look more visually appealing. There are tons of easy ideas on Pinterest to help!
Give kids age-appropriate tasks to help in the kitchen or during shopping. Yes, it is more work than just doing it yourself, but it has been shown that the more involved kids are with picking out new fruits or vegetables or helping to prepare food, the more willing they are to try more foods. Kitchen tasks also help them gain confidence and practice math, science, and vocabulary skills too!
Don’t hide too much. There are plenty of recipes out there that are loaded with “hidden veggies.” While these are fine to give a little added nutrient boost, hiding the food does not give your child a chance to actually accept a new food. They need to see it to know it.
Avoid using food as a bribe, reward, or punishment
It is also important to note that picky eating tends to increase when food is used to control behavior. Avoid using food as a bribe, reward, or punishment. These things can also set-up an unhealthy relationship with food that could lead to disordered eating behaviors in the future. Serve treats or sweets occasionally and don’t purposefully restrict certain food items. Remember you are deciding what to serve. Some days that might include a cookie with lunch and somedays it doesn’t. The cookie doesn’t need to be earned, it just is. Also avoid praising a clean plate or suggesting “you have to eat 2 more bites.” This teaches kids to ignore those internal hunger and fullness cues. Do your best to keep food language neutral. Foods aren’t good or bad, they just do different things in our bodies.
I know it can feel overwhelming when your child is refusing to eat. It sets off all those protective parental instincts, making you feel like you must do anything it takes to get your kid to eat. The more relaxed you can stay about food, come at mealtimes as a time to connect with family, and curiously explore new foods, the more your kid will open up to trying things. Remember it is your job to provide balanced nourishing meals and it is your child’s job to choose which foods and how much to put in their bodies.
The information provided is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be medical advice or to diagnosis, treat, cure or prevent any disease. This information does not replace a one-on-one relationship with a physician or healthcare professional. Dietary changes and/or the taking of nutritional supplements may have differing effects on individuals.
To learn more about how working with a nutritionist could help you, schedule a free 15 minute call.